Fear

On a daily basis, I become crippled by self-doubt and anxiety. I am immobilized by overanalyzed thoughts conjured by my toxic mind. Each day, I struggle to find a way to overcome this phenomena and escape.

Maybe my first mistake is believing that fear can simply be escaped. No matter how much one may run, it will always catch up. Fear is something that cannot be ran from, but rather, it is something that must be either acknowledged and understood or conquered.

The first step in dealing with fear is being cognizant of what possess control of one's ability to properly function. In my experience, fear is an all-you-can-eat buffet served with various platters of poisonous dishes that inhibit my own success. It seems that even after a particular area of struggle is digested, a second helping appears on my plate.

Most fears, if not all, stem from concern of the future. Think about it. You may fear homelessness because it will take you away from your current state of being. It would happen later down the line if something were to affect you. You may fear death, an aspect of humanity we all experience. Being aware of this, one should either make acceptance or changes to improve the success of a desirable outcome. We cannot escape our own mortality; however, we are capable of living a fruitful life. Don't dwell heavily on the bad that could happen. Focus on living NOW and savoring the good in life, while make preparations for a brighter tomorrow.

Though it seems I am knowledgable of this menacing plague, I lack the ability of practical application. I am guilty of still allowing fear to run my life. I am afraid of many things. I am afraid of commitment. I am afraid of change. I am afraid of failure. I am afraid of disappointing those I love. I am afraid of not being true to myself. I am afraid of being imprisoned by society or my environment. It's quite apparent what the red stop signs in my life are, so how, then, do I move beyond these obstacles and hurdles and achieve a happier life? To begin with, this wasn't a post on actually finding a solution, rather, this was an extraction site for my anxious concerns.

If you have any answers, please, feel free to contact me.

an introduction

out of spontaneous desire and curiosity, i have finally ventured into this realm of the blog-o-sphere. in the past, i've braved xanga and recently tumblr. however, with the increasing amount of the adolescent presence of tumblr, i've arrived at the conclusion that it's time to move forward.

it isn't my intention to express a condescending attitude, but for the most part, tumblr has become bombarded with meaningless (although at times, i willingly admit, hilarious) memes and idle chatter. tumblr has welcomed a new demographic within recent years, as made apparent by my recent list of followers, which typically include fifteen year old girls or potheads, or in some cases, fifteen year old girl potheads. in any case, there is nothing wrong with the aforementioned groups, but i long for more fruitful conversations which may bring insight into my life or to a reader's. although, that isn't to say i will be completely absent from tumblr. along with posts from artists whom i admire and highly respect, i will continue to enjoy my guilty pleasure of reblogging gifs of happy dogs to images of various series i am fond of and beyond.

what i'm hoping for from establishing my presence on here is similar to why one would frequent a gym. my goal is to strengthen my voice and to improve my writing. instead of looking in the mirror and observing physical changes, i'm aiming to reflect on old posts to witness a growth in maturity and in style. in addition to that, blogger will serve as another medium to express my opinions, concerns, and beliefs that elsewhere i would feel uncomfortable or even threatened to do so.

at this moment, my view count will most likely be barren besides my own doing, but hopefully, it will increase over time. thus, i begin my journey on blogger, and i hope i can discover and interact with other people who possess a shared philosophy and shared nature for inquiring knowledge and devouring quality food or maybe this can be a gateway for me to adopt new ideas and ways of thinking. in any matter, i am filled with excitement.